The Scar That Holds You Closed Rips Me Open
by atticusandalice
Summary: Logan is starting to "scratch" the surface on just how much he has hurt Julian in the past. Established!Jogan oneshot.


**Glee belongs to Ryan Murphy and Fox. Dalton belongs to CP Coulter.**

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><p>Logan sat on Julian's desk in his room, hands clasped tightly together, and chin resting on top. His feet were tapping on the floor to some unknown beat. It was one of the few times anyone could ever say he looked like a puppy.<p>

A door across the room clicked open, and out popped Julian. His hair was wet and completely screwed up, and navy and black checked pajama pants were strung low around his hips. Something released from Logan's lips that sounded a bit like a giggle, (though he would vehemently deny it later), and he literally flung himself across the room at Julian. Logan pulled the brunet into his arms and kissed him lightly on his cheek.

"You couldn't just wait for me to put on a shirt, could you?" Julian snapped.

"Nope," said Logan, a genuine smile on his face, but letting the boy go to get some more clothes. He knew Julian was only joking and not really annoyed at him. "I've waited three weeks; I'm not waiting any longer."

Julian just rolled his eyes and continued rummaging though his drawer. "I've been on location during the school year dozens of times before."

"Yes, but-"

"-not since we've been dating. I know, Logan. You have told me this every day when you call. Multiple times."

"Well, I can't help missing you," the singer said with a pout, crossing the room and nestling into his boyfriend's shoulder, turning his dew eyes on him.

Julian turned to Logan, eyebrows raised and feigning exasperation. "I missed you too." However, something had caught Logan's attention, and he didn't hear Julian.

It was a small, pink stripe of flesh on Julian's ribcage, a bit over two inches long, just below his shoulder blade and near his spine. Logan placed his finger on it, and rubbed back and forth.

"Julian… what is this?" Logan asked. "When did this happen? Was it… was it on set? You know, you may want to stop dong your own stunts. I don't want you getting hurt."

Logan felt Julian tense underneath him, and suddenly he was shrugged off. The actor quickly pulled out a random shirt, not really caring which one it was anymore, and tugged it on with quick jerks.

"Seriously, Jules. What's with the scar?"

"I guess it never really did heal properly, hmm?" Julian said, lifting his shirt and twisting around to look at said scar. His eyes shifted side to side "Well, we were, uh, taking a break in the trailers and–"

"–For someone in show business, you suck at lying," Logan said, not amused.

Julian sighed, bouncing on the balls of his feet. Slowly turning back to the blond, a look of apprehension clearly evident on Julian's face.

"Promise you won't get mad. _Promise,"_ he insisted before Logan could open his mouth to argue.

"I… promise?" Logan wasn't so sure about this. If something really _happened_ happened to Julian, he wouldn't know if he could stop himself. "It wasn't… him, was it?"

"No! No, not at all." Julian turned away from Logan, unable to keep eye contact. A pregnant pause filled the air when Julian didn't continue, but Logan knew not to press his boyfriend any farther. "Remember the time… sophomore year. When we got in that argument?"

Logan snorted. "Be more specific, Julian. There were arguments daily back then."

"…the one where you shoved me into that metal desk."

The blond slowly sank onto the bed.

"I figured out after you left the room that I was bleeding… Not too bad, but I went to grab a first-aid kit anyways. Derek saw me, and he was furious at you; he wanted to take me to the hospital to get stitches. I told him no, I… didn't want to make a fuss. So I just bandaged it up with gauze, and that was that."

Logan's world shattered.

He. He did this… this permanent damage to Julian. Not some psychopath or a fangirl or a cast member or an accident or anything else. Him. He did this to his boyfriend, his love, the person he cared about more than anything in the world.

There was something wet under Logan's eyes, but he didn't know what it was. He saw Julian turn around, saw the softening look on his Julian's sweet face, and the wet thing increased. Julian ran over by him now, holding his hands, kissing his face over and over, everywhere. Julian was saying something, but Logan didn't know what it was. All he was thinking about was that he was a monster, a beast, he didn't deserve Julian.

Logan lightly curled Julian in his arms in a hug, treating him like he was a butterfly wing. After setting the shorter boy down, Logan stood up, and started walking towards the door.

"_Logan Wright, don't you DARE leave this room!_"

The one with the green eyes stopped, but didn't turn around. A warm hand closed over his shoulder, and he let it lead him backwards, like he was rewinding though time, until he was sitting back on the bed, Julian beside him. They didn't look at each other.

"This is exactly why I didn't want to get into this," Julian said quietly.

"…how many of those scars do you have?" questioned Logan

Julian knew there was know way he could lie to Logan now and get away with it. "Two. Maybe three."

"And this is without all of the other bruises and cuts that faded away?"

"The bruises alone I have lost count on."

"Then explain to me this… how you could possibly love me? After everything I have done. The hurt I have caused you."

Julian swung himself around so he was sitting on Logan's lap facing him, with his arms wrapped around Logan's neck. They were nose to nose.

"Who freaked out the one time I fenced and I hurt myself?"

"…"

"Who takes care of Derek when we know he is going to burnout?"

"…Me."

"Who makes sure I don't get mobbed by fans when I go to a Something Damaged convention?"

"Me."

"Who always calms me down when something ridiculous about me gets posted in the tabloids?"

"Me."

"Who was the one who stayed by my bedside in the hospital, _the entire time,_ after the fire to wait for me to wake up?"

"Me."

"And that's just five small things," Julian said with a warm smirk. "Oh- did I forget to mention that you're gorgeous?" he whispered to Logan, eyes slowly closing as he pressed a light kiss on Logan's lips. However, it was hard to hold when the initiator spurted a smile that grew wider as the corners of the other's mouth twitched upwards.

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><p><strong>AN: Uggh. In my head, this was going to be really good and kinda long, but it came out like... crap on paper. Sorry if you notice any editing problems, I decided to upload this one without a beta-reader this time.**


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